I haven't been to wrestling training for a month or so, for various reasons, so, I thought I'd tell you guys something that happened to me recently instead.
"Really enjoyable first half, great stuff in the ring and I haven't made any mistakes yet!!"
I have no idea why I wrote that on Facebook at the intermission of my second ever Southcoast Wrestling appearance, lord only knows that writing something like that means that its only a matter of time until something goes very wrong. For me the matter of time was the length of the intermission, so approximately 20 minutes!
When I got the gig of ring announcer I knew that being in the public eye for long periods meant that I would have to look the part so dug out my Granddads old suit. Anyone who knows me will know that dressing smartly isn't really my style, I'm a jeans and hoody kind of guy. The flip side of dressing in the way that I do means that when you do put on the suit everyone is surprised but that's beside the point. The point is that I was in my suit, looking great and feeling great after watching three good matches, having some banter with the crowd and, as mentioned, not making a single mistake.
I make my way back to the ring to the chords of "Dalton Wants It All", ROH wrestler Dalton Castle's theme music and welcome the fans to the second half. Our first match of the half is a gauntlet match so I run down the rules of the contest then introduce the first 2 competitors. Then it happens! As I step through the ropes I hear what in my head is the loudest thing ever, my wonderful suit trousers decide that THIS, is the moment that they want to try and make a desperate bid to become 2 individual trousers and split from the crotch to the left knee!!!!
|Marc <3 Dalton Castle|
Now obviously I cannot show any emotion as I step off the apron and return to my seat but boy did I panic when I sat down and saw that my boxer shorts were on show, I had only one thought running through my head at this moment...
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
A quick think made me think that I could cover the rest of the gauntlet match at the table, but the main event of the evening was a title match and there was no way I could do that from ringside. The sound guy for Southcoast, an awesome man called Marty had a solution, SOME SAFETY PINS!!!! Aww yeah it's all good thinks I! A few moments later and my pants are back together and I'm set to go. Or so I thought!
|There's more Southcoast action in February!|
As the first wrestler was eliminated I stood up to announce wrestler number 3, confident that my lovely grey boxers wouldn't be on show, and, of course, all FIVE of the safety pins came a pinging out one after another! Back to square one eh folks?! At this point I can literally only think of one thing. Knowing that I had a few moments until the next wrestler came out I ran backstage, showed the bewildered promoter what had happened and put my jeans on faster than I probably ever have at any point in my 33 years!
I went back to my seat, flashed a thumbs up at Marty and carried on my ring announcing duties for the rest of the night, including shaming a guy for swearing during the raffle by getting him into the ring and making him apologise to the boys and girls and doing my best work to date with the in ring introductions to the main event.
I recently spoke to my friend Chris Brooker. Chris works at a few promotions and does a spot of ring announcing from time to time, he assured me that you aren't a proper ring announcer until you've split your pants, so I guess that makes me a proper ring announcer. Chris did it on his first!